But it's not just your friendly neighbor down the street who wants a 70 inch screen for his weekly Football Sunday party. Take a look at some of the mugshots on this post on 6abc's website and you'll see that people from basically every walk of life commit (or at least attempt) insurance fraud.
I would LOVE to include pictures to accompany these quick-hits of what people thought they could get away with, but that's cruel and too time-consuming. So, here are some ways people have tried to scam the system and ended up costing Pennsylvania's citizens more than a quarter of a million dollars:
Thomas From Garnet Valley
I'm not sure if Thomas had malicious intentions or if he just doesn't quite know how insurance works. He crashed his car into a guard rail. It happens, I guess. They should have made the rumble strips more intense. Maybe he was sitting on some produce on his way home from the grocery store and the rumbling made him feel feelings that caused him to swerve off the road. I don't know, it didn't say.
But after he crashed into the guard rail, he tried to file claims with two separate insurance companies. How does that even work? Was he paying insurance twice?
Well, regardless, he's now in a position where his bail was set at $7,500.
Jennifer From West Chester
She crashed her car, and then decided it would be good if she had insurance. So, she bought an insurance policy for the car she had already crashed and tried to get the repair covered.
How was Geico going to prove that the accident happened before she bought the car? Right? She should have just been able to sneak it in there and get her car fixed for free.
Well, she submitted evidence to Geico telling them that her car was in the accident before the bought the policy.
And now she's got a $10,000 bail to post.
Johnny and Jennifer From Harrisburg
It's important to note that these two are brother/sister and not husband/wife. They crashed into each other, bought insurance, submitted a claim, and then provided evidence that the accident had actually happened before they bought insurance.
I'll repeat that for emphasis - they provided evidence that the claim they just submitted was fraudulent.
Edward From Philadelphia
Edward blew Jennifer and the bro/sit combo out of the water. Like her, he was in an accident when he wasn't covered by an insurance policy. But this man actually had the balls to tell the person who he hit that he was covered by Safe Auto, and then he called Safe Auto and bought himself a policy right after that.
And then Safe Auto called him a few days later and he lied to them.
And now his bail is $25,000.
Alexander From Lansdowne
I'm learning that the common theme in insurance fraud cases is people drive without insurance and then call to buy insurance after they crash their cars.
Or motorcycles, as was the case for Alex. He crashed his bike, bought an insurance policy, and then claimed his accident happened a few weeks after he bought the policy. Smart, right? Like how you aren't supposed to get a fake ID that says you're exactly 21. The most telltale sign of someone under 21 is their ID says they're a 21-year old from another state.
So our boy Alex gave himself some leeway, except his goddamn bike was in storage when he said the accident happened, and the storage guy sold him down the river.
And now Alex's bail is $25,000.
Amanda From Morton
This all happened in one day: Amanda crashed her car, Amanda bought a policy from Esurance (shoutout to Jim Halpert), Amanda filed a claim with Esurance that she was in an accident immediately after she bought the policy.
Stupidity aside, that is a lot of stuff to do in one day. And because she tried to be an overachiever and stuff a bunch of errands into one day, her bail is now $15,000.
Mark From Carnegie
Mark is 51, but he has Cool Dad types of hobbies like video games and computers. He bought a bunch of electronics (about $7,000 worth, if you're curious), and then returned them all. A few months later he alleged that someone had stolen everything from him.
Well, the investigators found out pretty easily that everything was returned, and now his bail is $25,000.
Sharon From Philadelphia
Sharon sued Wal-Mart, alleging that she suffered "serious physical injuries" when she slipped and fell in the store back in 2012.
There is a goddamn security tape showing her sitting down, then laying down on a mat, and then claiming that she was injured.
This woman's only hope is that she fried her brain with meth and she thinks she still lives in the 1980s, because otherwise she's just naturally so dumb that she's completely hopeless in life.
Eric From Philadelphia
Big E decided he didn't want to work anymore (he's 55), and wanted a little bit of an early retirement. But he hadn't, uh, actually saved up any money to retire. So he faked a back injury and forged the signature of a DEAD DOCTOR and then submitted his claim to AFLAC.
This shit used to drive me nuts when I worked at a grocery store in high school. Work! Make your own money! Save for retirement if you want to! Buy your own goddamn groceries! I'd fucking LOVE to just get money/food for free without having to do anything, but that's the easiest way to ruin society.
Fuck you, Eric! I hope your back actually does hurt but you can never get any money for it and you have to sit in your cube every day until you're 80. You dick.
Haleem and Jasmine From Philadelphia
This is more of a PSA than anything: Haleem was driving in Jasmine's car (without insurance, obviously), and some other driver crashed into him.
My man had to lie about Jasmine being with him at the time of the accident because it was her car. This is a horrible look if you are a dude. Get your own car and stop living off of your girl's accomplishments. Though, for what it's worth, Haleem and Jasmine both seem like they gave up on impressing anyone new a long time ago.
Oh, and they also both submitted false injury/medical reports to the insurance company. That'll run them each a $50,000 bail.
Lewis From Wallingford
Lewis drove his car off a cliff (or an embankment, but cliff would be way more badass), and then claimed he was the victim of a hit-and-run. To be fair, Lewis is 86 and he probably thought he was going to lose his license if the state learned that he drove his car into a ditch.
But now his car is wrecked and his bail is $10,000.
Marshal From Bath
Marshal worked for a moving company and hurt his knee a couple of years ago. He liked the whole "worker's comp" lifestyle aka getting paid to play his NHL16 Live The Life mode.
And this motherfucker also continued to play with his beer league softball team, while getting paid worker's compensation because his knee hurt too much for him to work.
If you see him around, please tell him he's an asshole. And also let him know that there's a warrant out for his arrest.
Ronnie From Beaver County
We'll end with Ronnie The Beav, who unfortunately had his couch ruined by water leaking from the ceiling. He filed an insurance claim for $4,000 (what he paid for it) plus $300 (what he paid to try to get it cleaned).
Well, the investigators did some investigating, because that's what investigators do. This dickhead only paid $450 for his couch! He didn't just try to fudge the numbers so he could buy a new one that was a little nicer. He overshot what he paid by like 900%!
And now, because I am largely not a creative person, I'm going to end this post with a GIF in honor of Ronnie:
Don't commit insurance fraud, folks.