Sunday, July 15, 2012

ESPYs Recap

I doubt we'll ever do a fantasy ESPYs again. It was fucking stupid. When average people are allowed to make decisions, stupid shit happens. For example, they should have just had one award named Favorite Sport so football could have won and then it would have been over with and we wouldn't have to listen to Rib Riggle try his hand at regular comedy. Anyways, here's the results:

Best Male Athlete - LeBron James (Chris 1:1 Jason)

Best Female Athlete - Brittney Griner (Chris 1:1 Jason)
We both gave it to Sharapova because she's hot. 

Best Championship Performance - LeBron James (Chris 2:2 Jason)

Breakthrough Athlete - Jeremy Lin (Chris 3:3 Jason)

Best Record-Breaking Performance - Drew Brees (Chris 3:3 Jason)
I guess the best closer of all time breaking the saves record (a record that will NEVER be touched) just can't stand up to a guy in the extremely passer-friendly NFL breaking a passing record that was also broken by another player in the same season and will be broken in the next season. Fuck you, America. 

Best Game - 49ers at Saints (Chris 4:4 Jason)

Best Moment - Tim Tebow's Overtime Touchdown (Chris 5:4 Jason)
Gotta love that the best moment of the entire year in sports was a poor defensive showing. Right?

Best Coach - Tom Coughlin (Chris 6:4 Jason)

Best Comeback - Matthew Stafford (Chris 7:4 Jason)

Best Male College Athlete - Robert Griffin III (Chris 8:4 Jason)
I don't even think anyone watched RG3 when he was in college. He kind of just exploded in the weeks leading up to the draft, and then he magically became better than Andrew Luck just because of his personality. And then Washington threw away their future for him. Smells like a bust. Just wait. 

Best Female College Athlete - Brittney Griner (Chris 9:5 Jason)

Best NFL Player - Aaron Rodgers (Chris 10:6 Jason)

Best MLB Player - Josh Hamilton (Chris 11:7 Jason)

Best NHL Player - Jonathan Quick (Chris 11:8 Jason)

Best NBA Player - LeBron James (Chris 12:9 Jason)

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Chris' ESPY Ballot

To be honest, I think I've watched the ESPY's twice, and both times were simply to hear Seth Meyers' monologue.  The year that was right after "The Decision" was brilliant, and with any luck something like that can be repeated.  That being said, I have no idea who's hosting this year, so I have zero expectations.  But, here are my picks.

Best Male Athlete - LeBron James
I've said it before, LeBron James is the best physical specimen in the history of the National Basketball Association.  He's the best athlete in the sport, a sport which the best athletes usually come from.  Naturally, he is then the best athlete in all of sports.

Best Female Athlete - Maria Sharapova
Let's be real here.  Brittney Griner is by far the better athlete.  But who watches, and votes for the ESPY's?  Men.  And 99% of men are going to vote for Maria Sharapova over Brittney Griner every day of the week and twice on Sunday, simply because she's absolutely gorgeous, and Griner isn't the slightest bit attractive.  Well, I know I would.

Best Championship Performance - LeBron James
I never thought I'd give an award to someone who sat out the last 10 minutes of one of the most important games in his career, with cramps..

Best Breakthrough Athlete - Jeremy Lin
I wanted to give it to Gronk because he's essentially the Anti-Christ in the world of all Boston haters, but you can't ignore what Jeremy Lin did.  He captivated, and held the attention of New York for over a month.  New York, the town in which everything is moving and constantly changing, was focused on a little asian guy playing basketball for a month.  That's tough to do.

Best Record-Breaking Performance - Mariano Rivera
I love Drew Brees, and the fact that he broke that record was simply amazing.  However, what's often forgotten here, is that Tom Brady broke the record this past year too.  Brees' achievements have to be tainted by that, right?

Best Game - 49ers at Saints
I didn't watch any of these games, but I know that there's no way a regular season college basketball game should be included on this list of choices.

Best Moment - Tebow to Demarylius Thomas TD - Sudden Death
I have to represent my new Jet, Tim Tebow, who will lead the Jets to the promise land.

Best Coach/Manager - Tom Coughlin
I truly don't know who Kim Mulkey, Patrick Murphy, or Darryl Sutter are.  Coughlin wins because his team won the most popular sport in the country.

Best Comeback Athlete - Matthew Stafford
I want to give it to Santana, because I'm a Mets fan and his no-hitter was probably the greatest thing that's ever happened in my life.  But, football will trump baseball every single time in an event like this.

Best Male College Athlete - Robert Griffin III
Davis is an absolute freak, but I think RG3 could steal the show.  Davis is the most athletic, he's absolutely enormous and moves extremely well for someone his size, but Griffin is more flashy, and also plays football.  Football wins again.

Best Female College Athlete - Brittney Griner
If she doesn't win, I will question everything in this world significantly more than I already do.

Best NFL Player - Aaron Rodgers
The NFL is a really tough sport for me to grasp a "best player."  I'm banking on the fact that Rodgers is still gaining in popularity from when they won the Super Bowl, and hasn't peaked yet.

Best MLB Player - Josh Hamilton
This should also be a no brainer.  I mean, let's be real here, the minute R.A. Dickey wasn't included on this list, it was a no contest in favor of Josh Hamilton.

Best NHL Player - Henrik Lundqvist
I want to give it to the best goalie in the league.

Best NBA Player - LeBron James
For all of the reasons stated above.  Looks like he's going to go home happy tonight.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

The Last Dwight Howard Post of the Summer

I was thinking about it earlier today, and I have no idea why Orlando can't find a deal for Dwight Howard that beats "two average players, a young prospect, and three shitty draft picks." Who cares where Dwight wants to go?

And I get that the hold-up then would be teams don't want to trade for one year of Dwight. True. But in all of the hoopla that's happened, nobody has ascertained what will make DH12 sign long-term with a team. Money? Winning? Fame? Teammates?

Basically, he's an idiot. And I think Orlando should just cut ties with him, even if it's at 75 cents on the dollar. (Or 60. Or 50.) Here's some possibilities.

Atlanta Hawks

  • Orlando downgrades slightly at center (slightly), but gets a longer-term deal with a more manageable center and a viable starting point guard. 
  • If Howard were to sign an extension with Atlanta, the Hawks may be forced to throw in a first-round pick or two. 
  • Ideally, Howard and Teague would both sign extensions, and Atlanta would include their first and Houston's second pick in next year's draft. 

(Note: the Williams-Harris trade already happened, but the Trade Machine doesn't have it - or any other signings - in yet because they aren't official. Sorry. Cap reasons.)

Los Angeles Lakers

  • This would include Howard, Bynum, and Martin all signing extensions. (and maybe Redick)
  • Look at this trade and tell me which team says no. 
  • I don't think anybody says no. 
  • Maybe send a draft pick or two to Orlando. 
Oklahoma City Thunder
  • This is prefaced by saying that Howard, Harden, Maynor, and Ibaka all sign extensions. 
  • Obviously, OKC says no. 
But what I'm getting at here (as evidenced by that third option) is that Orlando needs to be calling around to different teams and testing the market for Howard. I'm sure they are. If not, they should fire their whole regime. It seems like there's no sense of urgency on the Magic's part to get Howard out of Orlando. His stock right now is as high as it will ever be. Ever. Maybe the season starts and he just can't elevate like he used to (and can only dunk on 12 foot rims instead of 13). I wouldn't want to be stuck with him for a year even if he was healthy; he's made the league and the team into a complete joke. 

Bottom line is the Magic are in a really rough spot. Aside from Howard, they have the following ugly contracts:
  • 3 years of Glen Davis ($6.4 million), Jason Richardson ($5.8 million), Von Wafer ($1.1 million)
  • 2 years of Hedo Turkoglu ($11.8 million), Chris Duhon ($3.3 million), Quentin Richardson ($2.6 million)
  • 1 year of JJ Redick ($6.2 million) and some guy named Harper ($762k)
No doubt in my mind that GM Rob Hennigan would cut all those guys and start over if given the option. Maybe hold on to Duhon/Q-Rich/Wafer/Davis. 

Monday, July 9, 2012

Jay's ESPYs Ballot

You guys know how much Chris and I love awards shows. Mostly because we always make fantasy contests out of them. For the ESPYs (probably my favorite of the awards shows), we’re not doing any fantasy shenanigans: we’re just filling out ballots and whoever gets the most right wins. If it comes to a tiebreaker, we’ll think of that later. To the picks!
Best Male Athlete – LeBron James
I don’t know who selects the winners. If it’s not fans, LeBron wins this by a million miles. If it is fans, LeBron wins this by a hundred miles. Djokovic, Rodgers, and Verlander are all good and shit, but come on. LeBron is the best athlete alive.

Best Female Athlete – Maria Sharapova
Not voting for Brittney Griner.

Best Championship Performance – LeBron James
Fuck David Freese. Tony Stewart drives a car. Johnny Quick didn’t play that well in the actual Stanley Cup Finals. Eli Manning has a stupid face. Ergo, LeBron wins.

Best Breakthrough Athlete – Jeremy Lin
I think Lin wins this (over Rob Gronkowski) because ESPN doesn’t trust Gronk to be on stage with a microphone in front of him. Lin, in that regard, is the much safer pick – and that may turn out to be the tiebreaker. And know that I really wanted to vote for Alex Morgan.

Best Record-Breaking Performance – Mariano Rivera
It’s awesome that Drew Brees broke the record for passing yards in the stupidest sport on earth, but he will be eclipsed because that’s the direction the league is headed. Rivera’s saves record won’t be touched. Ever.

Best Game – 49ers vs. Saints (NFL Playoffs)
This was the “kill his head!” game, right?

Best Moment – Bubba Watson (The Masters)
I’m kind of biased here because I was balls deep in fantasy golf when this happened and the approach shot to clinch it was beyond amazing. I think Tebow is going to win. I think Chris is going to pick Tebow. Bubba should win. His donning of the green jacket was the best moment.

Best Coach/Manager – John Calipari
I have a unique perspective on college basketball coaches. Being a Villanova Wildcat, I understand that a good coach will succeed in three major areas: recruiting, teaching, and coaching. Jay Wright is good at the first one, less good at the second, and absolutely poor at the third. Calipari is great across the board, and his coaching talent will keep him in this category until he hangs up his clipboard.

Best Comeback Athlete – Johan Santana
I want to make two points. First, fuck Sidney Crosby I hope he dies. Second, if coming back from being old and washed up to throwing the first perfect game in franchise history isn’t the best comeback of the year then I don’t know.

Best Male College Athlete – Anthony Davis
This shouldn’t be close. Complete player on offense. Complete player on defense. Trademarked facial hair. Number one draft pick.

Best Female College Athlete – Brittney Griner
Ugh. I guess I have to pick her because I don’t even know who the other chicks are.

Best NFL Player – Aaron Rodgers
Yeah! Football!

Best MLB Player – Josh Hamilton
I think his chances of winning are boosted by his generally positive public opinion. Plus Kemp got hurt, Verlander has been so-so (9-5 record), Braun is on steroids, and Clayton Kershaw’s name is Clayton.

Best NHL Player – Jonathan Quick
This comes back to the whole “who decides” thing. If it’s fans, Quick wins by a mile. If it’s writers/people who know anything about anything, it’s a lot closer. Malkin was the MVP. Lundqvist was the best goalie all season. Stamkos was relatively a bum. Giroux… well I like him. And I don’t want to vote for Malkin. So I’m giving my ballot to Skrillex’s younger brother.

Best NBA Player – LeBron James
Why is Ricky Rubio not an option?

Friday, July 6, 2012

Today's Fake Trade of the Day

I trust Bill Plaschke as much as I trust anyone when it comes to the NBA. When it comes to picking up chicks at work... Not so much. But Bill said today on The Herd that the consensus is that the Lakers need to flip Andrew Bynum for Dwight Howard if they want to seriously contend for a championship.

And then I was talking to my boy John about the Sixers, and we think that it's time for Philly to move on from Andre Iguodala. He makes too much money and he doesn't seem worth it - especially with rebounder/defender/jumpshooter/layup-maker extraordinaire Mo Harkless behind him.

And so I rolled those two trades into one giant #tradeoftheday:

In terms of money/salary cap/trade rules, it works.

LA turns Bynum and Gasol (The "Second Round of the Playoffs Boys") into Howard and Iguodala (and bolster their defense significantly - and keep in mind that just having Steve Nash on the floor bolsters their offense). They'd also be cutting $2 million off their cap.

Orlando gets Bynum (assuming he signs a long-term deal or this trade makes no sense for the Magic) and a pick that LA didn't send to Phoenix (which I can't show on the draft machine).

Philly gets an offensive centerpiece and a supremely talented power forward. Pau makes $2 million more than Elton Brand was scheduled to make. Worth it? Yes. And the Vucevic to the Nets trade is only included for salary cap reasons - the Sixers don't have a lot of guys signed now (because they can't sign until July 11). I think they should hold on to the Big Switzerlander. But they'd have to trade away around $2 million in salary to make up the difference between Iguodala and Pau.

PS - Not really sure why, but $2 million seems to be the trend in this post. Weird

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Why the Knicks Made a Pretty Good Decision

So the past few days in the NBA have been crazy. Out of all the free agent acquisitions, the biggest thus far has to be the Lakers sign and trade with Phoenix for Steve Nash. The addition of Nash, in my opinion, propels the Lakers back into the top 2 seeds in the West which makes them a championship caliber team once again. Although he was being highly touted by the Knicks and the Raptors, the Lakers surprisingly came in and snatched Nash- keeping him close to his family in Phoenix. Personally, I'm not too upset that the Knicks didn't end up with Nash. Even though he is still one of the best point guards in the league and one of my favorite players to watch, New York can't continue to give up young players for the "big name". 

If the Knicks ended up acquiring Nash, they would've had to give up a few players. Among those, Iman Shumpert would have been traded. Shumpert became a fan favorite in his rookie year and I truly believe he has a ton of potential. Despite his terrible injury in the playoffs, he's young enough to come back strong from it. He's the type of player a team needs to hold onto and develop. Too many times in recent memory, the Knicks have given up young players with a lot of promise in order to overpay an aging star. Holding onto Shumpert and retaining possible trade pieces for another deal is HUGE for the Knicks in my opinion and although Nash would have helped the Knicks win now, I believe not making a deal will better benefit the team for the long run.

The move the Knicks did make was signing another veteran hall of fame point guard. In a shocking move, Jason Kidd decided to leave the Dallas Mavericks and join the Knicks. There has been some hesitance on the part of fans with this move. Personally, I really really like it. Although he's not Nash and he's really old, Kidd has proven to still be effective. His stats have declined like they would of any aging player- but Kidd can straight out ball. In addition, he's a hall of famer with championship experience who star players, such as Amar'e and Melo, will listen to (especially if Kidd's former teammate Tyson Chandler has anything to say about it). 

Many may ask "What about Jeremy Lin?!?!?!?" Well don't worry. Although the Rockets and Lin agreed to an offer sheet today, the Knicks WILL 100% match Houston's offer in order to retain Lin. Even if Lin as a player doesn't turn out to be worth the amount of money they give him (and hopefully he does), his marketability is incredible. His popularity throughout not only the country, but the world, soared last year during his incredible run. As he improves, that popularity will continue to increase. Once the Knicks do resign Jeremy Lin, he will have the opportunity to learn under one of the best point guards to ever play the game of basketball. I believe this will be great for Lin and the future of the Knicks. Jason Kidd will be able to show him a thing or two about winning and playing the position. Let the tutelage of Jeremy begin because I, along with the rest of New York, wants more and more LINSANITY.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Jumping on the Warriors Bandwagon

If you haven't heard, I am firmly on the Golden State Warriors bandwagon. Sort of like how I was on the Minnesota Timberwolves bandwagon after they signed Ricky Rubio. I like Harrison Barnes - he's probably the smoothest player in the game besides Ray Allen. Maybe throw Kevin Durant up there too. Any way you look at it, it's really good company atop the smoothness leaderboard.

And much like I was big into making fake trades for Minnesota last year, I'm currently entertaining myself by making fake trades for Golden State. The two biggest problems I see on the GSW roster are 3 years/$9 million per year for Andris Biedrins and 32-year-old Richard Jefferson. And it's not like either of those contracts is particularly egregious - they can both contribute to a team. But your third- and fourth-highest earners combine for 10.9 points, 7.2 rebounds, and 1.7 assists (that's both of them combined, not averaged) it's not a great way to spend your money. And then you factor in that the Warriors just drafted two small forwards to challenge Jefferson and one center to challenge Biedrins (and take over for Andrew Bogut when he gets hurt), and it appears that Wittman would definitely be open to listening to trades.

I especially think that Jefferson has value as a veteran swingman/serviceable defender. He brings a more well-rounded game to the table than guys like Ray Allen and Jason Terry (who are both going to sign 2 year, $12 million contracts) so $9 million isn't actually that bad. Or maybe I'm just talking myself into it.

Here is a trade to serve four purposes:

  1. Cut Golden State's payroll this season
  2. Cut Golden State's payroll after the 2014-15 season
  3. Not affect the team's chances of winning games this season
  4. Open the door for Harrison Barnes
Golden State Receives: SG Daniel Gibson
Cleveland Receives: SF Richard Jefferson

Why the Warriors say yes: they have Barnes and Dorrell Wright and Draymond Green at small forward. They're both younger, cheaper, and (most would say) better than RJeff. And Gibson costs less than half what Jefferson costs. If you're going to overpay a backup, it might as well be a cheaper guy for a position where injuries are potentially going to be a problem. 

Why the Cavaliers would say yes: Gibson had a terrible year last year, and the Cavs could use a veteran guy who's been to championships in high school and college and the Eastern Conference Finals. Yes, they have Tristan Thompson and Omri Casspi and Luke Walton but let's be honest; Jefferson is a better overall player than any of them. Plus, Thompson and Casspi are young and still developing (even though the consensus seems to be that Thompson has reached his peak already). 

Probability of this trade happening: 1%. Not likely. GSW seems content with Jefferson. 

All I'm trying to do is clear money from the books while maintaining the organization's ability to sell tickets and memorabilia and win basketball games. 

Oh, and also these guys:

Monday, July 2, 2012

The Olympic Basketball Playoff - Part 2

So I liked that last idea so much that I actually decided to just randomize teams myself and project how it would play out. Oh and I also decided to split it into three arenas: Los Angeles and Miami for the first two rounds (to establish who's getting on the Olympic roster) and then New York City for the final four to determine the winner of the tournament. The games will be staggered so the national TV audience will watch one game while the other game's players are warming up.

As in any bracket, the 1 and 8 seeds will play and then the winner will play the winner of the 4/5 seed game. Pretty much standard:

The Los Angeles Bracket

  1. Lou Williams, Andrew Bynum, Paul Pierce
  2. Jeff Teague, JaVale McGee, Rudy Gay 
  3. Jrue Holiday, LaMarcus Aldridge, JR Smith
  4. Rajon Rondo, Greg Monroe, Kevin Durant
  5. Mike Conley, Blake Griffin, Tyreke Evans
  6. Brandon Jennings, Dwight Howard, OJ Mayo
  7. Chris Paul, Josh Smith, Andre Iguodala
  8. Jameer Nelson, Carlos Boozer, Danny Granger
The Miami Bracket
  1. Kyrie Irving, Kevin Garnett, Carmelo Anthony
  2. John Wall, Roy Hibbert, Trevor Ariza
  3. Ty Lawson, Kevin Love, Joe Johnson
  4. Derrick Rose, Paul Millsap, Kobe Bryant
  5. Deron Williams, Tyson Chandler, Ray Allen
  6. Russell Westbrook, Chris Bosh, LeBron James
  7. Kyle Lowry, DeMarcus Cousins, Dwyane Wade
  8. Monta Ellis, Al Jefferson, Gerald Wallace
Being that this was entirely random, obviously some teams are a little unfair. Miami6? In Miami? Oops. That was an accident. But I love it. Chris Bosh may never touch the ball. 

Round 1
  • Los Angeles
    • LA1 beats LA8. Danny Granger goes 3-45 from the field. 
    • LA7 beats LA2. I would love to see Paul, Smith, and Iguodala play together. I think they'd complement each other nicely as a threesome. 
    • LA3 beats LA6. Dwight Howard requests a trade halfway through the game, is told he can't be traded because that would make absolutely no sense, and quits on his team. Brandon Jennings stabs him. 
    • LA4 beats LA5. This is the blowout game of the tournament. A team full of young stars against a team full of athletic guys that can't really do anything on a basketball court. 
  • Miami
    • Miami1 beats Miami8. This team can make a deep run if Kyrie and 'Melo can figure out how to play offense together. Because you know KG has the defense on lock. 
    • Miami2 beats Miami7. This is a disappointing game. It happens. Maybe John Wall can build some steam. Because his team is about to get steamrolled by...
    • Miami6 beats Miami3. I don't even care who is on team 3. Team Six is going to do big things. (And no, I didn't plan that.)
    • Miami5 beats Miami4. This is a phenomenal game. Potentially the best game of the first round. I don't see anyone guarding Kobe from outside the paint. I think that would be the trump card if not for the fact that 3's are worth more than 2's and the Williams-Allen combination with Tyson "The Rebounder" Chandler is deadly. 
Round 2 - Making the Olympic Team
  • Los Angeles
    • LA4 beats LA1. Rondo-Monroe-Durant over LouWill-Bynum-Pierce. Significantly better at two positions and only slightly worse at the third. Solid team inside and out. Durant is kind of a weak link on defense, but come on. It's Durant. 
    • LA7 beats LA3. Paul-Smith-Iguodala over Holiday-Aldridge-Smith. Significant point guard advantage and significant "Smith" advantage. 
  • Miami
    • Miami1 beats Miami5. Another phenomenal game. This comes down to two points: Williams is slightly better than Irving, and Allen can't guard 'Melo. 
    • Miami6 beats Miami 2. Who is on team two? I don't care. Team Six for the win. 
Round 3 - The Final Four in NYC
  • I can't even pick the LA4-LA7 game. All-Stars at all three positions on both teams. 
  • But you know that I can pick Miami6 to win... 
Round 4 - The Championship
  • ..and again. Honestly, a team with Westbrook, Bosh, and LeBron probably won't even lose a game to anybody. 
And as far as selecting an MVP/captain for the Olympic squad, it's gotta be LeBron. 

I understand that the logistics of this will never happen in real life. And it makes me sad.  

The Hypothetical Olympic Basketball Trials - Part 1

Take this how you will: I enjoy watching the Olympic trials. Whatever. Gymnastics is fun to watch. Whatever. Also: at the end of the day, everyone knows that the USA is going to win gold in basketball. It won't be close. So, in order to create a little excitement in the field of non-NBA basketball, let's get a little creative with the American trials. 

Here in the States, we are blessed with more great basketball players than every other county in the world - combined. Rather than just throw the 12 best guys out on the floor every four years and dominate (because that's no fun), why don't we have a fun little tournament for the American public to enjoy?

We're going totally hypothetical 3-person-per team bracket and because it's hypothetical we'll just assume that everyone's healthy. And because I can, let's say that the selection committee that makes up the trial roster is comprised of both USA basketball guys and NBC executives. So we know they want to get the most exciting guys out on the floor. Oh yeah, and the final four teams left in the tournament will make up the 12-man US Olympic roster. Sound fun? I mean, I can tell you that I'd watch it for an hour. Or 3. Or 7. Or however long the tournament took to play out.

The first problem that comes up is the possibility of  having a team of three small guards matched up against a team of large forwards/centers. And while I understand that each team will have strengths and weaknesses, but nobody wants to watch a game like that. We want to get fairly well-balanced teams that are simultaneously random. So we'll create pools (keep in mind that I'm just rattling most of these names off the top of my head):

Pool A: The Small Guys (Point Guards)
Chris Paul
Derrick Rose
Rajon Rondo
Deron Williams
Russell Westbrook
John Wall
Brandon Jennings
Mike Conley
Kyrie Irving 
Monta Ellis
Jrue Holiday
Lou Williams
Jeff Teague
Ty Lawson
Jameer Nelson
Kyle Lowry

Pool B: The Big Guys (Power Forwards and Centers)
Dwight Howard
Andrew Bynum
Kevin Love
Al Jefferson
Kevin Garnett
Paul Millsap
LaMarcus Aldridge
Tyson Chandler
Roy Hibbert
Greg Monroe
Josh Smith
Chris Bosh
DeMarcus Cousins
Carlos Boozer
Blake Griffin
JaVale McGee

Pool C: The In-Between Guys (That Would Fall Somewhere Between an A and a B)
LeBron James
Kevin Durant
Carmelo Anthony
Paul Pierce
Danny Granger
Rudy Gay
Andre Iguodala
Gerald Wallace
Joe Johnson
Kobe Bryant
Dwyane Wade
Ray Allen
OJ Mayo
Tyreke Evans
Trevor Ariza
JR Smith

Play out the possible team combinations in your head. If we were more technologically advanced I'd put up a thing that would generate random teams for you on command.

My notes on the tournament itself:

  • 16 teams of three
  • teams are randomly selected (it's good if someone big like Blake Griffin gets eliminated - we're going to win gold anyway)
  • final four teams remaining make the Olympic team, but keep playing through until there is a winner
  • tournament MVP is selected from the winning team - that's your Olympic captain
  • full-court, games to 21 by twos and threes
  • that makes 15 games, which shouldn't take longer than the trials for swimming or gymnastics
  • guaranteed $1 trillion in advertising revenue during the trials
  • also, the ability to buy a JaVale McGee USA jersey becomes a possibility