Let's Bet On Big Zlatan

We've never placed a season-long soccer bet. Normally, that's something we reserve for college football (see my last post).

But this season might be different, because the most popular team in England signed the most eccentric player in the world. Zlatan Ibrahimovic will don a Manchester United kit for the first time later this month, and it will be a glorious debut.

The line on his goals for the Premier League season, however, is set at just 14.5 on Bovada. That seems really low to me, and I'm thinking we might be able to (1) make some money and (2) get even more Saturday morning enjoyment while watching one of the best teams in the world.

The line being 14.5 poses two questions:

• How many goals do ManU's strikers normally score?
• How many goals does Zlatan normally score?

Let's start with the big guy first, and then look at his new team and league.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic

I'm going to include all major competitions in the last three years because I want to be able to use as large a sample size as possible. 

2016 Euro Cup (and Qualifiers): 11 goals in 13 games

2015-16 with PSG (Ligue 1): 38 goals in 31 games

2015-16 with PSG (Champions League): 5 goals in 10 games

2014-15 with PSG (Ligue 1): 18 goals in 24 games

2014-15 with PSG (Champions League): 2 goals in 6 games

2013-14 with PSG (Ligue 1): 26 goals in 33 games

2013-14 with PSG (Champions League): 10 goals in 8 games

Overall, that's 110 goals in 125 games, or 0.88 goals per game. The EPL season is 38 matches long, meaning he'd blow past the 14.5 total before Christmas if he kept his usual pace. That's an easy bet, right?

Manchester United's Goal Scorers

It's not quite so simple when you look at Man United's stat sheet from last season:

Zlatan is probably better than all of these players, especially when it comes to pure goal scoring, but is the team capable of generating enough offense to allow him to score 15+ goals? Overall, the team scored just 46 goals in EPL play. And what's even more concerning is there wasn't a single Forward who played more than 30 games (Martial led the way with an even 30). 

So if our boy Zlatan is only playing 30 games or so, and they're only scoring 30-35 goals in those games, is he good enough to score half of them with Rooney, Martial, Mata, Rashford, and Memphis breathing down his neck? 

It's really tough to envision him matching his goal totals from France on this United squad. Perhaps, though, this disparity is rooted less in the Red Devils and more in the English league as a whole. 

Premier League Goal Scoring

Last season, in their 38 matches, PSG led Ligue 1 with 102 goals (2.68 goals per game). They were, however, a large outlier, as the next-highest-scoring team was Olympique Lyonnais with 67 (1.76 per game). In Ligue 1 as a whole, 960 goals were scored. 

Manchester City led the was in the EPL last year with 71 goals (1.87 goals per game). But between all 20 league teams, they combined for 1026.

So, excluding the dominance of PSG, England is actually more scoring-friendly. I went through the league tables for France's Ligue 1 and the English Premier League last season - here's the comparison:

Essentially, the bottom half of both leagues was the same in terms of goal-scoring. Troyes brought up the rear in France with just 28 goals for the season (0.74 per game), and Aston Villa did the same in England with 27 goals (0.71 goals per game). Those two teams are now in shittier leagues. 

The whole Over/Under 14.5 goals bet really boils down to one question - how much of PSG's offensive dominance was caused by Zlatan? He scored 38 of the 102 goals and assisted on 13 more. He shared the field with Edinson Cavani (19 goals) and Angel Di Maria (10 goals), and even young Lucas Mora (9 goals) would have ranked highly on ManU's stat sheet. 

The difference between PSG's 102 goals and United's paltry 49 was Zlatan-Cavani-ADM combining for 67 and Martial-Rooney-Mata combining for just 25. That is a HUGE difference - and my bet would be Zlatan is a big part of it. 

Questions To Ask Ourselves

• Do we want to bet on soccer and commit to watching it on weekend mornings and weekday afternoons?
• Do we like Zlatan as an athlete/character?
• Do we think that at least a third of PSG's offensive trio's output was generated or caused by Zlatan?
• Do we think Zlatan is better than Anthony Martial and/or Wayne Rooney?

The obvious answer to all of these questions in a resounding YES, so please go ahead and sign me up for Zlatan Over 14.5 EPL goals (-105). 

Wednesday Premier League Picks - Week 14

Yesterday's picks finished as 3 wins, 2 losses, and a push. And when you count that I knew going in that I was going to hate the Crystal Palace-Aston Villa match, so let's just call it 3-1-1 for +1.7. Not a bad day.

Throw in that today's EPL games are easy, and we have a nice start to NCAA Championship Weekend (welcome to gambling, where the weekend starts on Tuesday afternoon and ends on Monday night).

Southampton @ Arsenal 
Arsenal's recent form has been (1) beat bad teams and (2) lose to decent teams. Southampton just got drubbed by Man City, but have been a pleasant surprise and are currently at third in the table with a goal differential of +15 through 13 matches (8 wins, 2 draws, 3 losses). If you are betting this game without research, you take Arsenal. However, that's not the way to do it.
Pick: Southampton win or draw +105 (you could also talk me into Southampton Pick'em +240)


Spurs @ Chelsea
At this point in the season, my usual strategy for Chelsea has just been to pick them to cover the spread every match. In general, it works. No need to change.
Pick: Chelsea -1.5 (+120)

Hull City @ Everton
Everton are disappointingly near the middle of the table. Hull are near the bottom of the table, and have only managed one point out of their past five EPL contests. There is a gang of players on the injury report for Everton, and I worry that their Europa League success coupled with their early EPL struggles may lead them to focus more on international contests. I wish I didn't have to give so much juice on the Everton moneyline (-200), and this qualifies as my "I Hate This Game So I'm Taking The Tie" bet of the day.
Pick: Draw +335

Man City @ Sunderland
It's always tough to pick against Jozy Altidore (who else had no idea that Jozy was short for Josmer?), but this City side is just stacked with talent. Bovada has the "normal" line at -1, but I'm taking an extra half a goal for a larger payout. Live life on the edge (and then regret it at 4:30 when the score is 2-1).
Pick: Man City -1.5 (+135)

Tuesday EPL Picks - Week 14

Tuesday mornings are turning into my favorite morning of the week. I update my spreadsheet for Are You The One? (guilty pleasure) and there always seems to be some top-level futbol.

No Champions League today, but there are a handful of Premier League matches, and we are going 5-5 today:

Newcastle United @ Burnley
This one is easy. Burnley are in 19th place, Newcastle are in 9th but have won 4 of 5. Take the pick'em because draws can be a real buzzkill.
Pick: Newcastle Pick'em (-125)

Liverpool @ Leicester City
Another easy one. Leicester are in last place in the whole league. I don't think it will be a blowout, but there is a large talent discrepancy.
Pick: Liverpool to win -105

Stoke City @ Manchester United
The first contest of the day with a point spread! Can ManU win by two goals to cover? They haven't beaten anybody by more than a goal since QPR in mid-September. Before that, it was Liverpool in early August. I think I like where this is headed.
Pick: Stoke +1.5 (-150)

QPR @ Swansea City
Swansea are pretty evenly split between 5 wins, 4 draws, and 4 losses, and they've managed a +3 goal differential. QPR have won 3, drawn 2, and lost 8 for a goal differential of -11. However, in the past few weeks QPR (at least in terms of results) is similar to - if not better than - Swansea. The Rangers (god I hate them so much) best Leicester and Aston Villa
Pick: QPR win or draw (+125)
Prediction: Swansea wins 6-0.

Aston Villa @ Crystal Palace
I hate everything about picking this game. Both teams are 3-4-6, but Crystal Palace has scored 11 more goals and have a touchdown advantage in goal differential. I think the only logical play here is to pick a draw and hope it ends 1-1.
Pick: Draw +240
Prediction: Someone wins with a goal in stoppage time.

West Ham @ West Brom
Battle for the West Side! Just kidding, these teams are nowhere near each other geographically. They are also nowhere near each other in the EPL table; West Brom are in 15th place with 13 points and West Ham are in 5th place with 21 points. Thanksgiving/Turkey season is over and it is not officially Christmas/Ham time.
Pick: West Ham Pick'em (+110)