And because I tend to get bored I'm going to give you fourteen teams and fourteen needs. You try to match them up:
The Teams (in order of how they finished this year)
- Chicago Bulls
- San Antonio Spurs
- Indiana Pacers
- Los Angeles Lakers
- Memphis Grizzlies
- Los Angeles Clippers
- Atlanta Hawks
- Boston Celtics
- Denver Nuggets
- Orlando Magic
- New York Knicks
- Dallas Mavericks
- Utah Jazz
- Philadelphia 76ers
The Needs (in no particular order)
- Blow it up.
- Continue to be mediocre because that seems like the best you'll be able to do.
- Maybe make one blockbuster trade, but generally sit on your hands and let the team grow together more.
- Invest in a good knee doctor.
- Your current best player is not good enough to be the best player. Your current second-best player is going to probably leave this summer. Your President left you. Panic.
- Give your big three another shot (yes, another one) to prove themselves. I mean, they are good enough in terms of talent.
- Get rid of Dwight Howard!!!!
- Continue to grow as a team. I can't even think of a single move to make.
- Figure out who your best player is, and then let NBA teams and fans know who it is.
- Fire your point guard talent evaluator. Look into trading the guy that everyone expects you to trade.
- Shooters and big men!
- Don't even listen to my advice, because everyone knows you guys are a bunch of wizards that never seem to make the wrong move.
- Try and turn one of your (five or six) decent players into a bona fide superstar.
- Go for Deron and Dwight.
(Boston, New York, Philadelphia, Chicago, Indiana, Atlanta, Orlando,
Denver, Utah, LA Lakers, LA Clippers, San Antonio, Memphis, Dallas)
There's only a few notes that I really want to make:
- Yes, the Magic should get rid of Howard. If Houston offers you THREE FIRST ROUND DRAFT PICKS you take them. Especially when they could absolutely all turn into starters. Shooting guard, power forward, and point guard could all be filled. Who gives a shit how Dwight feels. Think of your organization and your fans. Not your dickhead ex-superhero.
- I do think the Celtics glorious run is over. They weren't far off this year, but I don't think you can justify paying Kevin Garnett $20 million. Ray Allen is probably going to Miami. Go forward with Rondo/Bradley/Pierce/Bass/Jujuan Johnson/Greg Stiemsma. If a team offers your a decent draft pick for Pierce, think about it. You guys know how I feel about keeping guys that mean a lot to the organization and to fans. But just... think about it.
- The following teams (from the list above) don't really need to do anything: Knicks, Sixers, Bulls, Pacers, Hawks, Nuggets, Grizzlies. They either are young and just need to "find themselves" or are essentially at their peak. Indy may have some work to do if Hibbert leaves.
- The Clippers are kind of in the same spot as the Heat. They need outside shooting (and LAC needs it more than Miami) and some big bodies that they can stuff in the paint.
Next time we'll get into the shit teams. Oh fun.