If Carmelo Wants A Trade, Carmelo Can Get Himself A Trade

First off, let me just say that Carmelo's head is currently lodged very far up his anus. He wants more of a say in the team's operations and he's upset that NY went after JR Smith when Melo told them not to. He wants to feel like he matters. He wants to feel like the superstar of the Knicks. It's a little Lebron-esque, actually. Except Lebron is having the best statistical season of his life and Melo is playing like a big pile of cow manure. And now Carmelo has decided that the best course of action would be to ditch New York, ditch Lin and Stoudemire and Chandler, ditch being the best player on the team, and start over. Well here's a possibility...

New York receives: F Hedo Turkoglu, F Quentin Richardson, F Glen Davis
Orlando receives: F Carmelo Anthony


For the Knicks

• Well, it solves the Carmelo drama. So there's that. 
• You can get all three of these guys (inlcuding Hedo's monstrosity of a contract) for $1.2 million more than Carmelo's deal. 
• It frees up more shots for Lin and Stoudemire. Remember when they were 6-0 without Melo? Granted, they played a bunch of shit teams, but they won. 
• They get more pieces, and thus more depth. We've learned this year that the teams who can play the most guys usually have the most success. Well that's not entirely true but teams like Denver (who can play like 9 guys equal minutes) overachieve by running and gunning. This would give NY Lin, Davis, Smith, Shumpert, Douglas, Fields, Walker, Turkoglu, Novak, Jeffires, Stoudemire, Richardson, Davis,  and Chandler. That's a 14-man roster of guys who could all log minutes. 
• More freedom to play team basketball. Melo catches the ball and shoots it, with maybe a pump fake or a drive mixed in. That doesn't leave a whole lot of room for ball movement or chemistry. Now you have point guards, shooting guards, shooting forwards, power forwards (including one of the best, if Amar'e can fix himself), and one of the best centers in the NBA. Lots of freedom on offense and defense. 
• Starting 5: Lin, Smith, Fields, Stoudemire, Chandler
• Second 5: Davis, Douglas, Shumpert, Novak, Jeffries
• Third 5: Lin (again), Walker, Richardson, Turkoglu, Davis

For the Magic

• Dwight wants to stay put. 
• Bringing in Carmelo guarantees that you'll get half a season (plus playoffs) of Dwight-Melo. If they have success and make a deep playoff run (or look like they might be able to soon) then maybe Dwight is more likely to stay - after all, Orlando can offer him money by the ton. 
• Even if Dwight jumps ship this summer, the Magic can still go forward with Carmelo and a ton of cap room. 
• Ryan Anderson plays for the Magic. Anthony-Anderson-Howard in the frontcourt? That's a team. 
• The Magic don't have a great situation at point guard. Melo can play point forward and run an offense. Problem solved. 
• You can get rid of Hedo's ugly deal. 
• Starting 5: Nelson, Richardson, Anthony, Anderson, Howard
• Bench: Duhon, Redick, Wafer, Clark, Orton

I think New York says no, but they have to think about it long and hard before they turn it down. 

Fictional Basketball Trade of the Day: LAL, BOS, MIN

I'm writing a paper for Ethics today and I'm desperately looking for ways to procrastinate. Here's my list:

1. Make some fictional trades on ESPN's NBA Trade Machine
2. Think of a nickname for myself, similar to how Bill Simmons calls himself "Trade Machine Picasso"

For the trade, I went with the quick mention Michael Wilbon made in his post today (link here) about the Lakers going after Michael Beasley. Here's how it played out:

Lakers receive: F Michael Beasley, PG Luke Ridnour, C Jermaine O'Neal

Timberwolves receive: F/C Pau Gasol

Celtics receive: SG Wesley Johnson

For the Lakers:

• They can finally get some closure on the whole Pau Gasol situation. And they can also remove a second center from their roster since they already have the best center in the West. 
• The add another scoring threat in Beasley, who would then be able to pair with Bynum to be the future of the Lakers. Gasol's been upset with his role away from the basket this season. Beasley fits that role perfectly. He's much more equipped to shoot jumpers and slash his way to the rim than Gasol. 
• They upgrade the point guard position. Luke Ridnour isn't a great point guard, but he's one hundred million gajillion times better than Fisher. Plus he's a white American, and you know how the Lakers feel about white Americans. 

Fictional Trade of the Day: Getting Rid of Rondo

If you've been living under a rock, you know that Rajon Rondo is a nutjob. An extremely talented point guard, yes, but also mentally unstable. As Boston has taken offers for trades involving him, he's become even more crazy. His most recent incident? He's suspended two games for throwing the ball at a referee. It's time for Boston to move him. Take a look at a few options, and keep in mind that all trades at this point in the season also have expiring contract/free agency implications: 

Fictional Trade of the Day: Gutting the Warriors

Although the title may suggest something different, the idea for this blog started with the Boston Celtics. They are in a very interesting place: at the end of this season, the following players (and their salaries) come off the books:

• Kevin Garnett ($21.2 million)
• Ray Allen ($10 million)
• Jermaine O'Neal ($6.2 million)

Whether or not those guys retire isn't really relevant to the Celtics or any possible trade partner. What is important is the fact that they represent $37.4 million in cap room that will open up this summer - enough for two maximum-level contracts - in a free agency market featuring:

• Deron Williams, PG
• Steve Nash, PG
• Eric Gordon, SG
• OJ Mayo, SG

I Fixed The Dwight Howard Problem. Again.

So Dwight still has yet to make up his mind. Or maybe the Magic have yet to make up their minds. Or maybe they just haven't gotten a serious offer for the best center in the NBA. Well, no worries - I have another solution to the problem. It involves trading Dwight to a team that desperately needs a new identity.

Washington Receives: C Dwight Howard
Orlando Receives: G Jordan Crawford, F Jan Vesely, F Andray Blatche, C Ronny Turiaf, C JaVale McGee


Let's break that down a little in Bullet form (see what I did there?):

FBTotD: Making Dwight Howard's Decision For Him

I think there have been approximately one billion trillion articles written about the Dwight Howard situation. Should Orlando trade him? Should they wait out this season and see if he stays around for another contract? Does Dwight want to stay?

The answer is simple. Dwight is not going to stay. He's going to do the same thing to Lebron (although on a smaller scale) and leave Orlando in his rearview to go play with another star. Or two. So following that, the logical step is to ask, "Why the hell haven't the Magic traded Dwight Howard yet?!"

Because they can't find an acceptable offer?

Well as you may know from yesterday's post, I'm all about solving problems in the Fictional Basketball Trade of the Day posts. Check it, and it's a doozy:

Fictional Basketball Trade of the Day: The T'wolves Need A Shooting Guard

Yesterday, the Star Tribune (Twin Cities, Minnesota) posted an article about how the Timberwolves really, truly, desperately need a point guard (link here). Jim Souhan, the author, was trying to make a case that Wayne Ellington, Wes Johnson, and Martell Webster need to step up. One of them, Souhan wrote, needs to solidify himself as the starting shooting guard. They obviously can't start both Ricky Rubio and Luke Ridnour in the backcourt - those guys are both in the neighborhood of 6'2", 175 pounds. If one of them is left to guard Kobe Bryant (6'6", 205 pounds, possibly the most talented player in the NBA, definitely the most ferocious), bad things are going to happen to Minnesota. Take, for example, the stat line from the MIN-LAL matchup:

K. Bryant: 35 points, 14-29 FG, 5-9 3FG, 14 rebounds, 38.8 JPoint


I could put up those numbers too, if I was primarily matched up an eighth grader.

So the next logical step would be for one of the taller guys to get the start at 2-guard, right? There's three main options (with season stats, in order of how many minutes per game they average):

Wesley Johnson (6'7"): 22.3 minutes, 5.9 points, 3.0 rebounds, 0.9 assists, 36.8% FG, 23.6% 3FG, 60% FT, 23.8 JPoint
Wayne Ellington (6'4"): 21.2 minutes, 6.7 points, 1.8 rebounds, 0.5 assists, 40.7% FG, 35.9% 3FG, 78% FT, 31.2 JPoint
Martell Webster (6'7"): 17.0 minutes, 6.7 points, 3.3 rebounds, 0.3 assists, 36.4% FG, 37.5% 3FG, 33% FT, 28.5 JPoint



The only way to analyze that is to say that Minnesota has three low-end-of-average options are shooting guard. Johnson was the #4 overall draft pick and it's safe to say that he has not performed the way a lottery pick is expected to. Ellington is their best offensive option (usually) but he's terribly inconsistent and he gives up height to the other two - and to much of the league. Webster was the guy that Souhan called on to step up and be Minnesota's backcourt savior. Personally, I just don't see either of these three guys filling the role well enough for Kevin Love to lead them to a whole lot of success. But the good news is I LOVE THE NBA TRADE MACHINE (and the T'wolves) so I'm going to work some wizardry and find a 2-guard for David Kahn to trade for.

If Pau Gasol Wants A Trade, I'll Give Him A Trade!

Pau Gasol has made it really clear that he doesn't like his role on the Lakers this season. He doesn't get enough shots, and the shots he does get are long range. There are two problems for Pau staying in LA: Kobe takes a million shots and Andrew Bynum gets the majority of the Lakers' low-post touches. Pau is left playing facilitator at the elbow or the perimeter. And while the facilitator role has allowed Pau to get a lot of assists, he obviously doesn't follow the same mentality of Ricky Rubio (the classic Magic Johnson "an assist makes two guys happy" quote) toward passing. He wants the ball down low, and he's upset that his team isn't using him to the best of his ability - and after all, he is one of the best low post players in the NBA.

Rumors are swirling that Pau wants a trade to improve his situation. But the Lakers are in a very good spot with this possible development. If you read JA Adande's post on ESPN.com today (link here) he listed several problems with the Lakers so far this season:

• They haven't had enough time to mesh with their new teammates. 
• They haven't had enough time to learn new coach Mike Brown's system.
• They have struggled to score when anyone besides Kobe has the ball.
• Their 3-point shooting is the worst in the league.
• They don't score a lot of fastbreak points.
• They're average.
• They're boring. 
• They have inconsistent point guard play. 
• They don't get easy shots from close range. This is mainly because...
• Nobody but Kobe has the ability to create their own shot. 
• They don't get steals and thus don't get easy transition layups. 
• They are old.