Fictional Basketball Trade of the Day: LAL, BOS, MIN

I'm writing a paper for Ethics today and I'm desperately looking for ways to procrastinate. Here's my list:

1. Make some fictional trades on ESPN's NBA Trade Machine
2. Think of a nickname for myself, similar to how Bill Simmons calls himself "Trade Machine Picasso"

For the trade, I went with the quick mention Michael Wilbon made in his post today (link here) about the Lakers going after Michael Beasley. Here's how it played out:

Lakers receive: F Michael Beasley, PG Luke Ridnour, C Jermaine O'Neal

Timberwolves receive: F/C Pau Gasol

Celtics receive: SG Wesley Johnson

For the Lakers:

• They can finally get some closure on the whole Pau Gasol situation. And they can also remove a second center from their roster since they already have the best center in the West. 
• The add another scoring threat in Beasley, who would then be able to pair with Bynum to be the future of the Lakers. Gasol's been upset with his role away from the basket this season. Beasley fits that role perfectly. He's much more equipped to shoot jumpers and slash his way to the rim than Gasol. 
• They upgrade the point guard position. Luke Ridnour isn't a great point guard, but he's one hundred million gajillion times better than Fisher. Plus he's a white American, and you know how the Lakers feel about white Americans. 

Fictional Basketball Trade of the Day: The T'wolves Need A Shooting Guard

Yesterday, the Star Tribune (Twin Cities, Minnesota) posted an article about how the Timberwolves really, truly, desperately need a point guard (link here). Jim Souhan, the author, was trying to make a case that Wayne Ellington, Wes Johnson, and Martell Webster need to step up. One of them, Souhan wrote, needs to solidify himself as the starting shooting guard. They obviously can't start both Ricky Rubio and Luke Ridnour in the backcourt - those guys are both in the neighborhood of 6'2", 175 pounds. If one of them is left to guard Kobe Bryant (6'6", 205 pounds, possibly the most talented player in the NBA, definitely the most ferocious), bad things are going to happen to Minnesota. Take, for example, the stat line from the MIN-LAL matchup:

K. Bryant: 35 points, 14-29 FG, 5-9 3FG, 14 rebounds, 38.8 JPoint


I could put up those numbers too, if I was primarily matched up an eighth grader.

So the next logical step would be for one of the taller guys to get the start at 2-guard, right? There's three main options (with season stats, in order of how many minutes per game they average):

Wesley Johnson (6'7"): 22.3 minutes, 5.9 points, 3.0 rebounds, 0.9 assists, 36.8% FG, 23.6% 3FG, 60% FT, 23.8 JPoint
Wayne Ellington (6'4"): 21.2 minutes, 6.7 points, 1.8 rebounds, 0.5 assists, 40.7% FG, 35.9% 3FG, 78% FT, 31.2 JPoint
Martell Webster (6'7"): 17.0 minutes, 6.7 points, 3.3 rebounds, 0.3 assists, 36.4% FG, 37.5% 3FG, 33% FT, 28.5 JPoint



The only way to analyze that is to say that Minnesota has three low-end-of-average options are shooting guard. Johnson was the #4 overall draft pick and it's safe to say that he has not performed the way a lottery pick is expected to. Ellington is their best offensive option (usually) but he's terribly inconsistent and he gives up height to the other two - and to much of the league. Webster was the guy that Souhan called on to step up and be Minnesota's backcourt savior. Personally, I just don't see either of these three guys filling the role well enough for Kevin Love to lead them to a whole lot of success. But the good news is I LOVE THE NBA TRADE MACHINE (and the T'wolves) so I'm going to work some wizardry and find a 2-guard for David Kahn to trade for.

T'wolves Win, Beasley Sets JPoint Record

Minnesota beat the Houston Rockets tonight, 120-108. Coming into this game, Minny had been scoring an average of 95 points per game. But, as you know, any team can score more points if the just take better shots.

It's hard to lose a game when your team combines for a JPoint of 47.0 overall. That's very, very, VERY good. Let's look at some of the players who took the most shots:

Nikola Pekovic, C, MIN: 8 points, 4-6 FG, 7 rebounds, 41.4 JPoint
Ricky Rubio, PG, MIN: 18 points, 2-3 FG, 4-4 FT, 11 assists, 8 rebounds, 57.0 JPoint
Kevin Love, PF, MIN: 29 points, 10-15 FG, 7-8 FT, 7 rebounds, 57.2 JPoint


The only player who took a significant amount of shots and hurt the team:

Luke Ridnour, PG, MIN: 11 points, 5-11 FG, 0-3 3FG, 5 assists, 4 rebounds, 23.3 JPoint


But that was balanced out by this next line:

Check Out Your New JPoint Champion

And it might be a more familiar face than the Lithuanian (or whatever) that previously held the crown:

Minnesota lost tonight (107-92 to Houston), but it was not Kevin Love's fault. That blame falls on a combination of Rubio, Milicic, Williams, and Ellington.

That's irrelevant.

Kevin Love made history tonight, posting the most efficient night in recent memory. And actually, according to the Bullets Blog records, ever.

K. Love, PF, MIN: 39 points, 12 rebounds, 13/19 FG, 5/5 3FG, 8/10 FT, 68.8 JPoint


68.8. Wow. I'd love to see Coach Adelman give him 30-35 field goal attempts and see if he could put up 82 points. See what all of Kobe's fans have to say about that one.

The JPoint crown goes to the most well-rounded player in the NBA, Minnesota's Kevin Love.