Friday, August 3, 2012

The Bullets Blog's Favorite Olympians

To honor the worldwide block party that is the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, we'd like to present you with each of our favorite Olympians that are competing at these games. Keep in mind, it's "our favorites" and not "the best" or "the most attractive" (although generally some combination of those two traits is a major factor). We invited Dave, but in typical Dave fashion he did not participate.

(Note: this is Jay writing. All editor's notes are from me.)

1. Jordyn Wieber - She's all business, but when she breaks out that smile, it's intoxicating. In her floor routine when they were about to win, her smile lit up the building. She got robbed in the All-Around, the two per country rule is moronic, but she's clearly talented as she was supposed to be the next Mary Lou and Nastia.

2. Hope Solo - Not only is she incredibly skilled and beautiful, but her tweets ripping Brandi Chastain were fantastic. I like people who aren't afraid to say what they think, even if they're wrong. At least nobody can say the girl doesn't have a spine.

3. Kobe Bryant - My favorite NBA player ever. Naturally, he's one of my favorite Olympians as well. He may be on the tail end of his career, but the guy makes scoring the basketball artistic.

4. Aly Raisman - Her floor performance to seal the deal in the team competition was one of the greatest moments I've ever seen. To see her openly crying as she knew they achieved their goal was incredibly special. Beautiful moment.

5. Michael Phelps - I can't deny how incredible an athlete he is. He came in fourth in the most grueling event, the 400 IM, without even training for it. That's unbelievable. Everyone's falling head over heels for Lochte, but Phelps is the much more consistent swimmer, and the most decorated athlete in Olympic history.

Honorable Mention: McKayla Maroney - How she didn't get a perfect score on that vault, I'll never know.

(Editor's note: three gymnasts? Gay!)


1.) Michael Phelps -- tough to argue with this one. All-time medals winner in the history of the Olympics, he was the most dominant athlete at two consecutive games, won the most gold medal's at one games. The argument of who is the greatest Olympian of all-time is more difficult, as it's easier to get medals in swimming than some other events such as track and field. But he is undoubtedly still my favorite. Side note -- he was high the entire time it was going on too. Impressive, sir.

2.) LeBron James -- my love affair with LeBron is well documented at this point, so I don't need to go into the specifics of why he's the best player in the world, but I think even people who despise LeBron can admit that the way he's handled himself since winning the title has been outstanding. Rather than pulling the Kobe "one more ring than Shaq" card, he simply said that he was just happy to win a title. So far for the men's team, he's been a leader, and probably the best all around player. Another fun fact: I think this team could win 3 in a best of 7 against the original Dream Team.

3.) Hope Solo -- alright, I'll admit that she's a loudmouth and probably should keep to herself more, but you have to love this girl. She's strong, sexy, talented and above all, has a personality that she won't quell for anyone. She is the best women's goalie in the world, and might just go down in history as being better than her predecessor, Brianna Scurry. Also, I think occasionally it's refreshing to have an athlete who doesn't roll over in front of the media, as long as it doesn't affect their performance on the field (looking at you Chad OchoCinco Johnson).

4.) Roger Federer -- of the Big Three in tennis, Rafael Nadal is my personal favorite. However, he withdrew before the competition began, so I'll put my second favorite on here, Federer. Some of the shots he hits are simply unbelievable, shots that no other player in the world could make. Rafa, Djokovic and Federer have combined to win an astounding 28 of the last 29 grand slam events, and Federer has 11 of those wins, tied with Rafa most of the three. Federer is the most decorated of all three in terms of grand slam victories, here's to hoping he gets his first gold medal to go with them.

5.) Khatuna Lorig -- you may have never heard of her, but she has a chance to do something that no other Olympian in history has done: medal in 5 consecutive Olympics. Talk about longevity. Granted, if there's one sport where age doesn't affect your performance too much, it's definitely archery. I hope she can win another medal for the US this time around!

5. The Dutch Women's Field Hockey TeamThey actually just held a beauty pageant, eliminated the girls that were below a 9, and taught them all how to play field hockey. That's the only explanation. I hate when people use "literally" wrong but literally every girl on the team is attractive.

4. Destinee Hooker, USA, volleyballHer name is hilarious, let's just get that out of the way. But she is an astounding volleyball player - at any time and in any rotation, she can demand a set and pound a kill. She's kind of like LeBron James in that regard: when they want to, they can dominate any level of competition.

3. Aly Raisman, USA, gymnasticsArguably the best all-around gymnast on the team and arguably the most attractive. I was watching the Olympic trials with my mom, saw Aly, and immediately fell in love. And then watching her clinch gold for Team USA literally brought me to tears - but I was under the influence so I may have just been crying because she was.

2. Alex Morgan, USA, soccerThe cutest Olympian in the history of the Olympics. She's perfect. And she can actually ball out on the pitch. The only problem I have with her is that I now own 50 Panasonic TVs because she was on the boxes.

1. Michael Phelps, USA, swimmingI waffle on the "most medals ever" record. Obviously, it's impressive because it's the most ever. But he does compete in 8 events and his sport and year of birth allowed him to compete in 3 Olympics. Double but, no other swimmer has done what he's done. 19 medals and counting - and 15 golds? Jesus. Someone look up how many countries don't even have 15 medals total in their history. But my favorite part about Phelps is his ability to unite an entire nation. In '08, EVERYONE watched and cheered for him. In '12, everyone will watch and half of everyone will be rooting for Lochte. Bandwagoners.

(Editor's note: I think Phelps won a few more medals since I wrote this, one of which was head-to-head with Lochte. I rest my case.)

5. Kevin Durant
4. Weiber
3. Lochte
2. Franklin
1. Phelps

No explanations from the big man. But I know that Alex shares a first name and a birthday with a certain female soccer star and I was really, really surprised that he left her off his list. Which led to this conversation:

To summarize: 
  • We all love Phelps
  • We all love women's soccer players that are attractive
  • We all love girls' gymnastics
  • Ahhh-merica

Update: Here's the official standings, pending Dave's submission that may or may not ever happen:
  1. Michael Phelps
  2. Alex Morgan
  3. Hope Solo
  4. Jordyn Wieber
  5. Aly Raisman

1 comment:

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